January 8, 2025Suneet welcomes Brian Curtis, a seasoned coach, NLP expert, and real estate leader, for a conversation about communication, mindset, and preparation. Brian breaks down the science of building rapport, the impact of nonverbal cues, and how being in the right mental state can change every interaction. They also talk about anchoring, grounding techniques, and the misunderstood power of NLP—not just as a sales tool, but as a framework for leadership and personal growth. It’s not about scripts; it’s about showing up prepared, connected, and intentional. If you’ve ever wondered why some people effortlessly close deals while others struggle, this episode pulls back the curtain.
Chapters:
- 00:00:00 – Mastering the Chameleon Effect: Adapt or Miss Out
- 00:00:18 – Lights Up: The Conversation Begins
- 00:00:35 – Purple Blazer, Big Impact
- 00:00:54 – Legacy in Motion: A Story Unfolds
- 00:01:58 – Inside the Mind of a Master Coach
- 00:03:38 – The Playbook No One Talks About
- 00:07:12 – NLP Decoded: More Than Just Words
- 00:14:00 – 93% Unspoken: The Language You’re Missing
- 00:16:34 – The Rituals That Win Deals
- 00:26:05 – Building Bridges Without Saying a Word
- 00:27:59 – Invisible Connections, Tangible Results
- 00:28:53 – The Hidden Door to True Rapport
- 00:30:28 – From Small Talk to Real Talk
- 00:33:26 – Anchors: Control in Chaos
- 00:35:50 – Under Pressure: Techniques That Stick
- 00:37:37 – Wisdom That Echoes Beyond the Mic
- 00:49:49 – The Final Drop: Lessons That Stick
Links and Resources:
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Episode breakdown: preparation, rapport and state
Brian Curtis is a real estate team leader, coach and NLP practitioner who runs 126 Coaching. He has known Suneet Agarwal for about nine years and coached him for a couple of them. In this episode he explains why his coaching moved away from scripts and systems toward how agents show up, and he walks through the techniques he teaches for building rapport and getting into the right state before a conversation.
Spend five minutes preparing before every call and appointment
Brian’s picture of the average agent is a football player running out for the coin toss without any gear on. Most agents walk into a call or an appointment with no preparation at all. The danger is that it sometimes works, which locks in the habit. When he asked his own team what they do five minutes before a phone call, the answers were things like opening the computer.
They show up 30 seconds before they’re supposed to do something. And here’s the worst part. Sometimes it goes well.
Brian Curtis
His fix is a short, repeatable routine that puts you in a high-performing state before you pick up the phone or walk into a listing appointment. Something in your day will throw you off, whether it’s a teenager or a deal falling apart. He compares it to corporate work, where nobody would show up three minutes late and unprepared to a meeting worth $50,000 to the company. Agents do it all the time.
Build rapport by mirroring, not by hunting for common ground
Most rapport training tells agents to find something in common with the client. Brian teaches mirroring and matching instead: quietly moving the way the other person moves. He insists on practicing it in public first, at Starbucks, the mall or the grocery store, where a mistake costs nothing. Never practice on a client.
His own test came at a five-day conference. While waiting to check in, he stood about 15 feet from the front desk clerk and mirrored her movements for about five minutes. When he reached the counter and asked for an upgrade, she said there were none, then went back into the system and offered him a suite for the next night. For the rest of the week she greeted him by name. To Brian, rapport is simply the feeling that two people know and like each other.
Why not walk into every single appointment and spend the first two to three minutes physically mirroring and matching the person sitting across from you?
Brian Curtis
Match tone, speed and volume
The next level is matching how a person speaks. If you talk much faster than someone, they assume you’re trying to pull something over on them. If you talk much slower, they think you’re not sharp. Volume matters too. A loud talker across from a quiet listener makes the listener uncomfortable, and that discomfort lands on the agent.
I don’t need you to act like me. I need to act like you. I’m the person who’s trying to sell something.
Brian Curtis
Have a process for the moment stress hits
At an NLP training, Brian was the second of about 20 people called up to demonstrate a technique from memory, and his mind went blank. He stood there for about 15 seconds and did three things. He took a breath, grounded himself, and put himself into what he calls the learning state. Then he started talking, and it went well. His point is that most agents have no process for the moment they don’t know what to say, so they say something that makes no sense and lose the client.
He also uses anchors, which are cues tied to a state. A song that takes you back to high school is an anchor you created by accident. Brian builds his on purpose. He has a knuckle he presses to get back into a certain state, and a necklace he bought in 2012 that he puts on when he needs motivation.
Grow by closing a higher percentage, not by working more hours
Brian sees two ways to get more business: talk to more people at your current closing rate, or close a higher percentage of the people you already talk to. In his best year as a single agent he did 94 deals and ran out of hours. So he put his effort into better conversations. That meant getting people to connect with him, making them comfortable, and communicating persuasively.
None of it feels easy at first. He compares it to learning to drive, which takes all of your attention at 15 and none of it years later. The first time you build rapport, ground yourself or use an anchor shouldn’t be in front of a client. Do the reps ahead of time until the skill runs on its own.
Key takeaways for team leaders
- Ask your agents what they do in the five minutes before a call. If the answer is “open my computer,” give them a routine.
- Teach rapport as mirroring and matching, and have agents practice in everyday settings before they try it with clients.
- Coach agents to match a client’s tone, speed and volume. The person selling is the one who adapts.
- Give agents a reset for stress: breathe, ground, then answer.
- When agents hit their hour limit, raise conversion before you add more calls.
